Overqualified for Nothing

Sep 30

http://comedypony.tumblr.com/post/98707433010/feeling-pretty-cliche-but-i-could-really-really →

kremeroyale:

comedypony:

Feeling pretty cliche, but I could really really use like…a spay day?

I’ve never done anything like that, but it sounds pretty amazing m. I want lots of massages and a facial, maybe acupuncture. Warm towels, and feeling super clean and relaxed listening to unobtrusive sitar music…

And then I…

i will totally clean your house while your reproductive organs are removed

I may have gotten a text from Raymond and an email from my mother making fun of this particular typo. I have not edited it because I think it highlights the point that I am very very tired…..

Sep 29

I don’t have to be anywhere for an entire 16 hours!!!

So tonight that means game of thrones, vodka, and WRITING.

Also my cat tries to bat at the toilet paper when I’m wiping my butt. What a weirdo.

The vodka part may have started already….?

My weekends are not weekends.

Sep 29

Feeling pretty cliche, but I could really really use like…a spay day?

I’ve never done anything like that, but it sounds pretty amazing m. I want lots of massages and a facial, maybe acupuncture. Warm towels, and feeling super clean and relaxed listening to unobtrusive sitar music…

And then I want to come home to a spotlessly clean house, take a bunch of melatonin, get in bed with clean flannel sheets, and sleep for at least 14 hours. 

And maybe some pho or tom kha soup would fit in there well. 

Yes. Good. Thank you imagination. 

Sep 28

Animal abuse makes me SO FUCKING MAD. And no i’m not talking about horses ridden in a leverage bit or some other bullshit that distracts people from real horrors. I’m talking about pit bulls covered in cigarette burns with deformed legs from living in a too small crate.

Sep 28
Oh thank goodness!

Oh thank goodness!

Sep 28

I can’t be the only one who thinks about Emma Thompson in Love Actually and starts bawling any time I hear Both Sides Now, right?
?

Sep 28

Something I like about my job because I am having a rough weekend and need to remember that I love it.

All of the dog owners are referred to as “parents.” This was never specifically explained to me as a rule or anything, but everyone does it and I immediately developed the habit because it’s something I mostly do anyway.

And I love it, because it is not out of some sensitivity to the super extra special doggies, and it is definitely not about anthropomorphizing them or claiming they are equivalent to human children. It is simply the easiest, simplest, and most accurate way to describe people.

I don’t want to be saying “Hudson’s owner is here.” But I also don’t want to bother with some PC term like “companion.” Dogs are part of your family. I don’t think they can really be owned, but they certainly shouldn’t be equal status to their people.

So yeah, I enjoy talking about Rozlo’s mom and Henry’s dad. I spend 25 hours a week with these dogs, and I get to know them pretty darn well. It really isn’t much different from teaching preschool. I can’t learn all the human names as well as the dogs’, but they deserve to have their relationship recognized. And seeing how insanely excited the pups get when they see their parents….

Anyway. Just needed to write down something nice about work because it is killing me this week.

Sep 27

Work was fucking awful today. Like bad enough that my coworker cried.

I came home and was excited to spend the evening putting together the kiddos’ new cat tree. Got part way done and discovered some of the pieces aren’t right or something cause it is not fitting. Or I’m really dumb. Either way, frustration ensued. 

Can I just go back to 24 hours ago when I was blissfully half conscious from sleep and booze, and my gorgeous delightful manfriend was playing with my hair? Can I just, like, Groundhog Day that shit?

Sep 25

Ok so today was pretty long and I am exhausted, but it all went pretty well and when I got home R was here and had gluten free pizzas ready for the oven and if that isn’t just the best feeling ever I don’t know what is.

Sep 25

quote Start writing women on purpose. And if one of them has to be Cleopatra, so be it.

— My comedy writing teacher, to the men in the class.